Prayer: A Promise of God's Presence

"He knows that our ability to trust has been disfigured by all the promises made to us but never fulfilled"

Dear God,
I don't know whether I'm with you on this journey or not. Sometimes I feel like I am. Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you. It depends on who I'm with, and what they believe. It depends on my mood. It depends on many things. I don't really know how to trust you, or how to know you, or to believe the things you say. I just appreciate that you don't mind me saying whatever I want. That you understand more than I do. That you know the way. Help me to trust you, to learn how to do that, to really look to what is important to find you.
Amen

Prayer: A Promise of Change

"God promises to change our hearts, to take away the stone and replace it with flesh"

I desire to have a heart of flesh, God, though it scares me. It makes everything more intense, more painful, more penetrating. I don't know if I can handle it. Take me a step further, as I learn to treat myself as another. Give me a bit of flesh. Let me learn and know your meanings. There is much pain and sorrow, but there is also joy and celebration. There is hope, and both are human. I want to feel both, to know both. Not to be consumed by my own pain and needs. I want to know joy and happiness, hope, and celebration. Love. The things I do not really know how to experience, see, nor feel. These I ask of you.
Amen.

Prayer: To Carry on & Persist

"Healing is a new style of life that we continue to work on everyday"

Dear God,

Indeed, how often do I get discouraged, and feel lacking in energy, because everyday there is a struggle against the same things. And even after long periods of time, and change, it is still possible to revert to old habits, old thinking patterns, old ways. I forget that it's a long process, little by little, and step by step, and brick by brick, each day. That each day and what we do in each matters for tomorrow, matters for what we did the day before. Help me to remember this. To remember that each day I can lay another brick. I can take another step. Help me to train myself in speaking the truth, in expressing and admitting my feelings, and in allowing myself to have good relationships based on love. Help me not to lose hope when I go back to older things. Help me to keep trying.

Sometimes I can't see your love. I can't understand it. I won't accept it. Help me to change. Help me to allow myself to meet you along the way. Meet me along the way. Help me when I run out of energy and strength. Show me how to live in such a way that I can carry on, and continue everyday. Help me because I deceive myself a lot. Help me to see things the way you do, as a part of a historical context. Without masks. Without lies. Without unnecessary complexities. Without naive simplicity. Help me because I'm too dependent on other people. I want to change that. I want to be like you. Like Aslan. Not controlling, able to stand alone, yet loving and needing others, and involving others. Full of life and purpose. Full of strength and beauty.

Amen

من أنا؟

أنا رجا

و أنا أقوى

أنا أكبر

أنا رجا

و لن أسمح لنفسي أن تتهاوى

أنا رجا

و أنا أحب ما هو صالحٌ

و إن لم أكن أحبّه

فأنا أريد أن أحبّه

أنا رجا

و الطّريقُ طويلٌ أمامي

و الظّلامُ حالِكٌ

لكنّني سأمشي

سأُكمِّل

لن أقفَ هنا

لن أرجعَ للوراء

لن أخافَ من كلِّ شيءٍ

و من أيِّ شيءٍ

بل ممّا يُخيفُ فعلاً

عندها سأخاف

أنا رجا

و أنا بهاتين اليدين

سأُعيدُ و سأستعيدُ ما فقدّت

سأثقُ بفكري و بعقلي و بخبرتي

لكنّني لن أكون متكبّراً

سأتعلّمُ الصّلاحَ

سأتعلّمُ الحبَّ

سأستمتِعُ

سأتكلَّمُ

سأُعطي

أنا رجا

و أنا سأتحكّمُ بعالمي الدّاخلي

سأُحصي أفكري

سأُقَلِّلُ اعتمادي

أنا رجا

إن سقطتُّ سأقوم

إن أخطأتُ لن أكره نفسي

بل سأدفعها للأمام

إن تعِبتُ سأرتاح

أنا رجا

و لقد حان الوقت

لقد حان الوقت